Church STereotypes: Part 1

Church Stereotypes. We all have them. In the spirit of letting us laugh at our own tropes and predictable behaviors, we want to provide a lighthearted look at the zany aspects that can make working at a church incredibly unique. If you have any ideas for church stereotypes for future blogs, let us know in the comments below!

  • Mr. Blame-it-on-the-sound-person
    • Overview: Pastor forgot to turn his mic on? Someone singing too loud in the front row? Incorrect lyrics on the screen? Is it snowing outside in April? These are all common things that Mr. Blame-it-on-the-sound-person is ready to… well, blame on the sound person. It doesn’t really make much sense to anyone else, but our best theory is that he’s just jealous of how secretly awesome the sound person actually is.
    • Favorite Netflix Show: Tiger King
    • Preferred Starbucks Drink: Non-fat, Venti, Double Chocolate Chip  Frappuccino
    • How to Interact with Them: Act with kindness and gentility towards them. Softly, but firmly remind them that sometimes things just happen, and you don’t have to always pin it on the volunteer sound department. 
This is what you are making the Sound guy feel like. Not cool, bro. Not cool at all.
  • Super Singer Suzie (Suggested by Tom B.)
    • Overview: Now, everyone knows a Super Singer Suzie. They come in many shapes and sizes; and yes, before you ask, men can also be Super Singer Suzies. This character tends to belt their notes out every single service like they are auditioning for American Idol: Worship Edition. When found in the congregation, a “Triple S” can be a tech team lead’s worst nightmare, especially when his/her voice is piercing enough to completely take over the audio of a livestream. 
    • Favorite Netflix Show: Glee
    • Preferred Starbucks Drink: Fall – Tall PSL | All other times: Tall Iced Vanilla Lattte 
    • How to Interact with Them: Encouragement. Typically this type of person just needs someone to support them. Positivity can go a long way with a Super Singer.
This is exactly how the sound guy pictures your relationship.
  • The Perpetually Late Band Member
    • Overview: This well-intended individual always seems to have a reason for being 15 minutes late to band practice. Typically their front tire on their moped was flat or their cat managed to sneak out through their chimney for the third time in two weeks. They may try your patience when there’s (insert witty worship thought here about like how stressful it is being a part of a team), but you love them just the same.
    • Likes: Starbucks, Carhartt Beanies, Coffee gift cards
    • Dislikes: Inauthenticity, Key of F#, software updates in the middle of service
    • Favorite Netflix Show: Portlandia
    • How to interact with them: Learn to love them. If you address their unceasing tardiness, you will only drive them away. Or you can secretly turn ALL of their clocks back fifteen minutes so they arrive perfectly on time, EVERY TIME. 
, “Oh hey, sorry I was late again. I had to take Xena’s pet lobster to the vet.”
  • Last Minute Larry (Suggested by David M.)
    • Overview: Last Minute Larry ALWAYS manages to find you during or, in the best case scenario, thirteen seconds before the service starts. He has an addition or major change to a song, slide, sermon, or the overall theme of the service. 
    • Favorite Netflix Show: 24
    • Preferred Starbucks Drink: Black Coffee
    • How to Interact with Them: Practice patience. Acknowledge their need to keep things up-to-date, while also letting them know that it’s WAY easier to get things done correctly if you can get change requests in 24 hours before the service.
When you can see Last Minute Larry walking straight towards you as you are literally starting the livestream.
  • The Song that Never Ends
    • Overview: We’re looking at you Worship Leaders. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that we have sung the chorus seventy-three times at this point. I appreciate “Beautiful Name” as much as the next guy, but it’s definitely time for the next song.
    • How to Interact with Them: Someone might be getting a lot more out of it than you are.
Jared Warren Written by:

Jared is EasyWorship's resident enthusiast. With seven years of experience in digital marketing, copywriting, and practical jokes, Jared has brought an additional fun, professional personality to our team. When he's not reading or gaming, he enjoys a competitive game of soccer or a fancy slice of pizza.